Never Judge by the Looks
by addicted-to-romione-bedward
Summary: They meet at the wedding of Edward's best friend and Jasper's sister. Edward learns appearance doesn't matter, as long as you are true to yourself. Fandom 4 Mexico entry. One-shot.


**Never Judge by the Looks** by addicted-to-romione-bedward

**Banner in my group on FB, link on my profile**

**Banner** by: addicted-to-romione-bedward

**Rated**: T

**Warnings**: Adult Language

**Pre-Reader**: LosT-in-Twific

**Beta**: harrytwifan

**Pairing**: Edward/Jasper

**Summary**: They meet at the wedding of Edward's best friend and Jasper's sister. Edward learns appearance doesn't matter, as long as you are true to yourself. Fandom 4 Mexico entry.

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**I guess this is an appropriate way to start the year. An update with my piece for Fandom 4 Mexico. Happy New Year everyone!**

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**Edward's POV**

What an ass!

Holy fuck. I'd tap that.

And those fucking mile-long legs.

Yup.

Her short dress rides up when she bends to pick up whatever fell from her hand. Fuck. She's killing me with that ass.

Maybe, just maybe, this wedding won't be that bad.

You see, I couldn't say no to my best friend. He gets married only once—or so I hope. If he plans on having another wedding, he can count me out.

Though, I'll attend it if that chick is there, too.

Man, I can't take my eyes off her round ass.

"Fancy seeing you here, Ed!" Emmett, the groom and my best buddy, says.

"This is part of your wedding," I answer distracted, not taking my eyes off the chick dressed in that purple dress—super short, purple dress.

"You could have attended the ceremony as well, not only the reception."

"I'm still hung over," I mutter, gesturing to the shades sitting on my nose.

Emmett groans. "Seriously, dude! You need to get yourself a girl and settle the fuck down. Partying every night and getting shit-faced can grow old."

"Says who?" I bite back. "I'll have you know the chicks love me. Every night a new one." I nod to myself.

"Duuude!"

"Anyway," I groan, pulling my cigarettes out of my jacket.

This draws his attention as to how I'm dressed.

"Couldn't have worn a tie, could you?"

"Emmett, seriously. Give me a break. We're best friends—you're not my father! I'd rather not think of that asshole now."

He nods, knowing the animosity between me and my parents. It's been ages, and I'd rather leave it buried in the past. The feelings are still there—only I know I have to fight them off every minute every day, but it's not right. Well, not what society views as right, so I've adapted to keep my nose clean and be accepted in my circle of friends. It's getting harder, though.

"Say—" I light my smoke, catching Emmett's eye, "—who's the bridesmaid?"

He spits the champagne a foot in front of him, his wide eyes turning in the direction of said chick. "You don't want to know."

"Aw, man! Does your wife have _any_ single friends? Seriously!"

"He's…" Em clears his throat. "She's not…"

"She's single?" I ask hopefully.

She's so coming home with me tonight.

"That's Rosie's sibling," he mumbles.

"Sweeet!" I grin, dragging from my smoke. "Did she keep her locked away? I've never met her." I blow a small cloud to the top of the tent.

"Studied abroad…" Emmett mumbles.

Just then, the bride in person appears next to us.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to," Rosalie chides her husband. Always bossy.

"Came to greet Ed, here." Emmett claps my back.

"Well, could you stay with Jas, too? All alone over there…you know how I feel." She gives her sibling a long look.

Jas. That's a nice name.

Jasmine, maybe?

Sweet.

"I can keep her company," I offer, throwing in my best smile. Rose glares at me, and I raise my hands in surrender. "She's all alone, as you said. I promise to be good."

Emmett takes her hand. "He doesn't know."

"Oh." Her face softens. "Oh, well. Go ahead. Mark my words, if you hurt Jas in any way, I will kill you."

I stab my cigarette on the edge of a plate and scurry away before she can kill me for that, too.

On the way to Jas, I run my hands through my hair, keeping my eyes on her—fine ass, long legs, wavy blonde hair—it's like every man's wet dream. Fuck, I hope I make a good impression and we can find a bathroom quickly. She can't say no to me.

"Hello, Jas," I say, keeping my voice low and smooth. Chicks go crazy for that.

She jumps as if burnt and turns to me, looking shocked.

Well, that makes two of us.

My shock is nothing compared to hers…er, his.

Jas is a dude. A very feminine dude, but still a dude.

The fuck?

I frown, staring at the man in front of me…in his purple dress with his blonde waves falling on his shoulders, his huge blue eyes and those pouty pink lips.

All the feelings buried deep inside me explode, and afraid of what's happening to me, I turn on my heel and make a sprint away from the tents hosting the reception.

No fucking way!

It's been thirteen years since I felt anything like this toward another man.

Thirteen years of fighting these demonic feelings.

Thirteen years of heading to this moment—the moment I know I've been fighting a losing battle.

I plop my ass on the sand and fist my hair in my hands.

Logically, what has attracted me to her…er, him, is the legs and ass. Then I saw his eyes. Fuck, those ocean pools.

I remember how my seventeen year old self decided to bring home his first crush and got all his dreams crashed. There was a lot of screaming, and poor Dave left in tears—never talking to me again—all because my parents didn't accept my choice. I didn't think it would be such a crime to bring home my boyfriend. Everyone at school introduced their partners to their parents. Well, most of them, but yeah.

My parents had dressed nicely for that occasion, but it blew up in our faces when they saw me holding Dave's hand.

We had a huge fight, and it came to: you're leaving the house, or you're going to live by our rules.

So I stayed and obeyed their stupid rules.

Somewhere along the line, they even got me believing that liking boys was wrong, despicable.

I blame them for my lifestyle—jumping from one pussy to another. Of course, they never satisfy me. I've come to the conclusion that I'm bisexual, considering I can find a girl remotely nice enough to sleep with her, but they don't compare to men. No, not even in the least bit.

When Riley started working at my company, I pushed him away and kept my distance, even mocking him behind his back along with the other narrow-minded co-workers. But my heart broke every time I saw tears in his eyes.

Everything ended at the Christmas party last year, when we happened to be together in the men's room.

I muttered a "Sorry" to him, to which he told me he knew, but it was too late. I had no idea what that meant until some hours late a blood chilling scream echoed through the building. Someone found Riley's body on the street behind the company building. He had jumped from the top floor.

From that moment, I started drinking, battling the demon eating at me even more. I wasn't going to die like that because others think lowly of me or insult me every turn. No, I would prove that I was like them, like I'd been doing for years.

Of course, all my calculated plans flew in the wind when I saw Jas.

I can't stop thinking about him.

I've never met anyone like him. I know they exist, but I never had the pleasure of meeting a transsexual. Ugh, that sounds harsh. I don't even know if he is one. He looks like a man in woman's clothes.

I scramble through my brain for the correct term.

Cross-dressing, I think it is. Or maybe drag queen?

Shrugging to myself, I flop on my back on the sand and sigh heavily.

Someone decides to join me and ruin my brooding, but I don't open my eyes to see who it is. Probably Emmett—he knows me so well.

"You don't mind if I sit here, do you? It's boring in there."

Without looking, I know who that soft voice belongs to. I haven't heard him talk, but I know it's Jas.

"Sure," I murmur, not moving.

Though, I doubt it's boring a few feet away. I can hear loud music and cheers. They're having fun, but of course, no one cares about him—the black sheep.

I swallow hard before rising on my elbows. Jas is sitting next to me, his long legs tucked under his ass, his face turned toward the ocean as he mindlessly fiddles with the hem of his dress.

"Uh, hey." I grab his attention.

"Yeah?" He looks somewhat worried, biting on his lip. "I can go away if you don't want me to sit here."

"Don't be silly." I wave my hand around, managing to fall on my side. This makes both of us laugh as I take a healthy dose of sand in my mouth. Sputtering, I sit up. "Not my finest moment," I joke.

"It was funny," he says softly.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier." I try to catch his eye, but he seems to be shy.

"People usually run away when they see me."

"They shouldn't," I say firmly. "I didn't run because of how you're dressed. It just scared me—what I was feeling."

He frowns, turning to stare at me. He's gorgeous. In the sunset light, I can see his blue eyes standing out because of the black liner around them. His cheeks are slightly pink, the same color as his plump lips. His skin has a natural tan that goes very well with his golden curls.

God, he's so beautiful.

"Why are you looking like that at me?" His nervous question snaps me out of my gawking.

I shrug. "Really, I'm sorry for earlier."

"It's okay," he whispers, turning to stare at the ocean again.

"So, how come Rosalie kept you hidden away?" I ask, to make conversation and hear his voice again.

"I studied abroad. I returned a few days ago, so I'm still on Europe time." He gives me a shy smile.

"Europe, huh? Where?"

"Austria."

"Sweet. What did you study?"

Jas turns red, keeping his eyes ahead. "I play the cello and violin. I wanted to study in Mozart's country."

"Must have been nice." I am in awe of him, going so far to study music only because a great composer had lived there many, many years ago.

"It was." He nods, smiling. "No one looked funny at me if I wore a skirt or a tight blouse. Of course, in school I wore pants."

"And now… Did Rosalie make you be the bridesmaid, or was it your wish?"

"She told me about the wedding ages ago. We never talked specifics until last month when I helped one of my friends from Vienna shop for a special event. I saw this dress, and knew I had to have it."

"You just needed a good reason to buy it?" I joke, because I can relate. I always buy whatever grabs my attention, and it's more expensive than I'd pay on a normal day.

"Exactly." He laughs softly. "So, I called Rose and asked if she had a bridesmaid. At first, she was against my unsaid idea. She knows me too well, but eventually she caved. She even changed the color of the bridesmaid dresses for me. They were fuchsia, but I told her mine was purple."

"She really loves you. I'm still surprised I never heard of you."

Jas shrugs. "She doesn't really talk about me, unless my name comes up in discussion. She hates getting all worked up when someone makes a bad comment about me."

We fall silent as the sun sets, engulfing us in darkness. The dim light coming from the tent is not enough to see him clearly.

Then I get an idea.

"You're dressed so pretty and you haven't danced. That's a crime!"

I can see the shock on Jas's face.

"Come on," I insist, getting up and holding my hand for him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Smiling, he takes my hand, and I lead the way to the tent. We stop when we reach the platform of the tent so Jas can slip on his high heels. That makes him three inches taller than me, which is funny.

"I can take them off, but we have to dance on the sand."

"Deal," I agree, because I'm not used to having a taller dancing partner.

Without the heels, he's an inch shorter than me. A slow song is playing, so after arranging our arms and deciding who's leading who, we move. It's like we're gliding, and I've never had so much fun dancing.

Heck, I didn't even think I'd dance at the wedding, yet have fun while doing it!

After a few songs, Jas nods to Emmett and Rosalie, who are watching us with wide eyes. I grin and wave.

_What? I have unknown talents._

I can dance.

Suddenly, Jas laughs, messing our steps. "It just occurred to me. I don't even know your name!"

I chuckle, realizing he's right. "Edward."

"Jasper." He beams at me. "Can you call me that, please? I hate that Jas nickname."

"Done. As long as you promise not to call me anything other than Edward. I hate every other deviation of my name."

"You got it."

As the night wears on, I end up dancing with the bride. She gives me the talk on hurting her little brother and dying, or something like that. I don't pay attention. Jasper is at the refreshment table, sipping from a glass and talking animatedly with Emmett.

"Don't do anything stupid. He's been hurt enough." Rosalie snaps my attention back to her.

"I don't plan on hurting him."

"Really? Are you willing to leave your old ways behind? For my brother?"

"Yes. If he'll have me, then yes. Damn everything and everyone. This is me! I can't fucking change who I am, what I want."

She looks surprised. "But I thought…"

"The chicks? They've been a distraction. Now excuse me, I need to have an important conversation with your brother." I don't wait for her answer, strolling to where he's laughing with my friend.

I wrap an arm around his waist and hug him to my side, grinning at Emmett when he eyes me dubiously. "Hey," I whisper to Jasper.

He blushes, ducking his head and shielding his beautiful face with that blonde curtain of hair. I push it behind his ear, giving him an encouraging smile. He smiles back, shyly.

"Can we talk?"

Jasper nods and leads the way to the beach. It feels different now as we walk on the warm sand, side by side. There's a new tension between us.

"What did you want to talk about?" he whispers, plopping down in the sand.

There are so many questions to ask him—his age, whether he's finished with college, if he has plans on returning to the States for good, if he has someone special back in Vienna.

I scratch the back of my neck. "Want to grab a coffee when the party ends?"

Jesus, I'm such a loser. I want to kick myself in the ass. Hard.

"Sure, but if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to change out of the dress."

"It's okay, I don't mind."

"I do." He purses his lips. "It's nice and everything, but it's itchy, and I'm sure you wouldn't like to be seen with a freak."

"You're not a freak, Jasper. Everyone is different and likes different things."

"Do you know what this is called…what I'm doing?"

"Cross-dressing?"

"Yes, but I prefer to call it androgynous. I don't do this all the time, but I feel better in women's clothes. Mom's always told me I act like a girl."

.

.

.

For the remainder of the night—early morning, really—we stay close and keep the light talk going. He tells me how he came to realize his love for fashion and this style. It's a funny story of his mother finding him dressed in one of her best dresses with her make-up on his face. His parents had been out for the evening, and Rosalie was supposed to babysit her ten year old brother. Instead, she brought her boyfriend home and locked herself in her room. Left alone and bored out of his mind, Jasper had gone to his parents' bedroom. Since he always loved his mom's pretty dresses, he decided to try one, then found her make-up kit and said "Why not?"

Needless to say, when their parents returned and found Jasper all dressed up watching TV in the living room, they thought his sister was behind it, but he told them it was his decision to dress like that. Besides, Rosalie was in her room with her boyfriend.

"She didn't talk to me for weeks!" He laughs loudly, his eyes on his sister.

But I can't take my eyes off him. He simply glows when he speaks of his sister and family, his happy childhood memories. I don't think I have any happy childhood memories.

"Can I ask how you made up? I know Rose. I mean, she's been with Emmett for ages. She's not very forgiving."

Jasper glances at me, still chuckling. "That's even funnier. On her prom night, she had to babysit me because our parents were out of town. She didn't want to miss prom and I wanted to see what the fuss was about. Obviously, we did it on my terms."

"Let me guess. You borrowed your mom's dress again."

"No, sadly. Rose threatened to lock me in my room and leave me alone while she went to prom if I wanted Mom's dress. I had my jeans and a tee, my sneakers… Pretty normal, huh? But right before we left the house, I told her I needed to piss, and rushed to the bathroom and put on eyeliner and styled up my hair. She couldn't do much about my looks or leave me home, because when I got out of the bathroom, her date was waiting in the hallway. She threw me this nasty look that meant I was in trouble. Of course, that was the first taste I had of how people perceived my love for this style. Everyone stared or made rude remarks." He sighs loudly, propping his elbow on the table. "I didn't have fun at all that night. I also ruined Rose's night. Her boyfriend eventually abandoned her when he realized she preferred to stay with me. Duh, I was her little, crazy brother. But then we realized how weird it was and eventually I stayed on the side while she went to dance with him."

"Despite what a bitch she can be, she's a good person."

"Yeah. Eventually, my family had a talk to me about my preference for dressing in girl's clothes and wearing eyeliner. I told them I liked how the dresses felt, and the soft fabric didn't compare to the rough ones used for men's clothing. The eyeliner made my eyes look nice."

"That's true." I grin.

He returns my smile. "But I was ten back then. Anyway, I understood—after our talk—that boys don't like such things, and I fought against the urge. That is until high school, when I met this guy that made everything in my life make sense. It was like the sun was shining brighter and a curtain was lifted off my eyes."

I swallow convulsively. High school. I dearly hate that time. "Did he hurt you?" I mumble, readjusting my position in my chair. I've long since lost the pretense of eating. Our conversation is far more captivating. Besides, I'm still hung over.

Jasper reaches under the table and takes my hand. "I can see you understand."

"Yeah, well. High school was pure hell for me. And not because of my classmates—my parents ruined my life." It was true. I've never admitted it aloud, though.

"For me it was the other way around," he says softly. After staring at our joined hands for a few good minutes, Jasper clears his throat. "So, it was this guy who I liked from the first moment I saw him. He was exactly what I was trying very hard to keep under control. Pete wasn't into dressing up, not the way I am, but he loved eyeliner just as much as me, and he always had crazy haircuts and colors in his hair."

"Oh. What went wrong?" I'm curious. They seem to have been a match made in heaven.

"Turned out he wasn't actually into men, but 'smelled' me and thought it would be fun to walk all over me. He fooled me into thinking we had a chance. He took me to movies, to the park, his house, my house—it went on for three amazing months. I was in my freshmen year, and he was a junior." He squeezes my hand, lost in thought. "Around Christmas, there was a party at his house and my parents agreed I could go, only if my sister tagged along. She was visiting at the time, and already dating Emmett. Anyway, we went to Pete's house, made introductions, and I told her to get lost. She said she missed high school parties, so she'd stay. Emmett reminded her of how it was to have tail, and they finally left. I promised to call when I wanted to go home."

"Did she really leave?"

"Yes." He bites his lip. "It didn't take long to realize it wasn't an ordinary party. Not like the ones I knew from Rose; she'd hosted a few parties during her high school years. In the living room were a few close friends of Pete's, and lots of booze. He took me to an armchair and sat down with me in his lap. I was comfortable, so I didn't object. No one seemed to care anyway. It was the first time he had initiated any intimate contact. He kissed my neck, and his hands roamed my chest and between my legs." Jasper takes a shuddering breath. "I mumbled to him to stop, because the others were staring at us. He gave me a glass of soda. It tasted funny, but I gulped it all, followed by many more. I was dizzy and couldn't find it in me to protest."

"They didn't!" I shout, repulsed by such behavior.

"No, they didn't get that far. The whole thing must have taken about half an hour, because Rosalie came back to bring my phone, which I had dropped in Emmett's car. They found my clothes ripped and me down to my boxers. Later, I learned Emmett had called the police and told them everything, but I don't remember much. Rose called Mom, and they took me to the hospital. It turned out I wasn't drugged, just heavily drunk. Apparently, Jack and Coke isn't a good combo."

It is a surprise he can even joke about what could have happened to him.

"Pete left school. Some of his friends stayed, some left. It was tough, but I pulled through it all. Despite my love for girly stuff, I'm still a guy. I took karate, and even got on the school's baseball team. The team loved me, and they always had my back if the few of Pete's friends that stayed gave me a hard time."

I smile, relief flooding me. I feared, for a second, that his high school had been a nightmare thanks to that asshole. "That's great. I had good friends in high school, too."

"I focused on my studies and didn't attempt to find a boyfriend after that. Well, until I left for college." He gives me a shy smile, and his hand slips from mine.

I want to ask if he's in a relationship, and if so, how serious it is. I haven't thought of him being taken, but if that's the case, I'll totally even take him as a friend. Jasper is a wonderful person.

"So you're… Are you seeing anyone?" I ask, nervous. I never get nervous.

By the way he's chewing at his bottom lip, I'd say he is in a relationship, but something isn't right. Maybe he no longer wants that.

"I am…seeing someone," he tells me quietly, leaning closer. "But things haven't been great lately…as in over a year."

"Oh." I can't think of anything else to say.

"Yeah. Look, the party's breaking up. Do you still want that coffee?"

Way to change the subject. Having this new piece of information, I'm not so sure anymore.

I've never cared if the people I slept with had a significant other to return to. I've used them for my pleasure, and they usually got their pleasure, too. But this is different.

"If you're sure. I can't make any promises on what coffee will turn into," I admit. I want everything out in the open from the beginning.

His cheeks turn red and he averts his eyes. "Did you drive here?"

"Hell, no! Do I look in the right state to drive? I just started feeling human again about an hour ago. I was hangover," I explain when he frowns. "I'll tell you more about my life over coffee," I promise. It's blackmail, I know, but anything to have more time with him. Alone.

"Let me tell Rose we're leaving."

"I'll come with you. I'm the best man…or should have been." I laugh nervously.

Side by side, we make our way through the guests toward the bride and groom. People give Jasper nasty looks, but he doesn't seem fazed. I guess he's used to it.

"Oh, great," Jasper hisses under his breath. "I hate to interrupt."

I realize he's speaking of his sister and her husband. They're at their table, kissing with no wish to resurface any time soon. I wink at my companion, and snatch a glass off the table along with a knife, and pray I don't cut the crystal in the process. I hit the glass as gently as I can, and clear my throat.

To my amusement, not only Emmett and Rosalie turn, but most of the guests, too. Jasper looks around slightly panicked. He doesn't like the spotlight.

Ah, I guess there's no harm in a little speech. I hold the glass up above my head. "To the bride and groom!"

"Hear, hear!"

Grinning, I glance at them and see narrowed eyes. _How fun!_

"For those who don't know, I'm Emmett's best friend, and best man," I add quietly. "Unfortunately, I couldn't make it to the church, and I'd like to apologize." I stare at him with my most honest face, because I truly am sorry for missing the wedding ceremony. "As a forgive me gift, I want you to take this." I extract the envelope from my jacket pocket and hand it to my best friend.

He looks confused, but takes the envelope. "What have you done?"

"You left me in charge of your honeymoon, remember? I truly hope you like the destination I chose. Again, I'm sorry."

"You left that loser in charge of our honeymoon?" Rosalie screeches, standing so suddenly her chairs topples over. "We could end up in some fucked-up place, knowing him!"

Emmett looks hurt. "I didn't have time, you know that," he says softly. Everyone is staring at them. This isn't going how I wanted.

"Look, guys, I don't want to ruin the surprise, but it's an exotic place and I spent quite a lot of money on it. You're my best friend, and this is my way of saying thank you for being there every time I need someone. By the way, your faith in me is astounding, Rose."

She huffs, but walks around the table. Everyone goes back to whatever they were doing before I attracted their attention…without meaning. Rosalie stops next to her brother and hugs him, a hand cupping his cheek as she whispers in his ear. His sky blue eyes keep shooting toward me. I'm curious what lies she's telling him.

To avoid any awkward moments, I walk over to Emmett. He's still seated in his chair, with the envelope in his hands.

"Did you really have to do this? Why? We discussed this, man!"

I lean against the table, folding my arms across my chest. "Can't you say thank you and leave it at that?"

"Yeah, I don't think so. Not when Rosie is going to fight with me on our wedding night."

"Man the fuck up, dude! I know you love her, but don't let her…" _walk all over you_. I really don't want to say it out loud. He knows what I mean, though. "Anyway, don't open it until you're alone back at home, or wherever you're going after the reception."

"Will do. Thank you, Ed." He gets up and pulls me into a bear hug, nearly breaking my ribs. "A little piece of advice?" he whispers in my ear. "Don't fuck around with Jas. Not even I would be able to save you."

"I got it, man. Chill."

"You like him, huh?"

I nod, turning my head to catch Jasper and Rosalie looking at us. His eyes avert immediately and red splotches appear on his cheeks. She maintains eye-contact, telling me without words she will kill me if I hurt her little brother. I incline my head in silent understanding, before I clap my best buddy on the back and pull away.

"Have fun on your honeymoon, will you?"

"You know I will. You be careful with Jas."

I scowl. "He hates being called that, you know?" With a last slap on his back, I walk back to Jasper's side, sliding my arm around his waist. "I'll take care of him," I promise to Rosalie.

"You better. I'll come back from wherever you sent me and haunt you!"

"I hate ghosts," I say to no one in particular. "Ready?"

Jasper nods firmly, but I see he's nervous. His hands have a strong grip on his clutch. With a final goodbye to Rosalie and a wave to Emmett, we leave. My hand is still on the small of his back, and I enjoy the softness of his dress.

The taxi ride to his hotel room takes ages. He's explained he didn't want to intrude on Rose and Emmett's time alone at their house.

"Yeah, I was surprised when they decided to have it here in Los Angeles. I mean, I was sure she'd drag everyone to her hometown."

"There wouldn't have been enough motels in that place to host everyone," Jasper says, laughing. His light mood seems to disappear as we pull in front of the hotel. We share the price for our ride, then he leads the way inside.

The receptionist eyes us with a strange look, and I don't even try to decipher it.

Once in his room, Jasper points to the bed and tells me to wait for him. He disappears into the bathroom with his arms full of clothes.

Fatigue is catching up with me, and the bed is so soft. After ten minutes of waiting, I decide to lie down. The water starts running, and I know he isn't going to return any time soon. I don't even find it rude that he decided to wash up while I'm still sweaty from being in his jacket for too many hours. Realizing I must probably stink, I decide to discard the jacket.

Something cold touches my cheek making me shoot up. I look around confused.

Shit. I fell asleep.

Jasper is sitting next to me on the bed, a huge smile on his face. The cold something was probably his hand.

I scrub at my face. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I fell asleep."

"You must have been tired, but it is my fault too for taking too long."

"Yeah." I yawn. "What time is it?"

"It's close to eight in the morning, I guess."

That means I slept a couple hours since we left the party early this morning.

"Eight?" I moan. "The only time I'm ever up at eight, it's because I never went to bed!"

He laughs heartily. "What time do you start work?"

"Well, during the week, I do try to get to bed before three and sleep, not only get into bed."

Jasper seems to understand what I'm saying and averts his eyes. "Rose told me you're…" He shakes his head. "I didn't want to believe her."

"What did she say about me?"

"She told me you're a player."

I scoff. "I don't stoop that low. I'm more of a one-night stand kinda guy—the chicks know that and agree with it. I don't toy around with them." When his eyes widen, I realize what he must think of me. "But that's something I wanted to tell you over coffee. To explain myself. This isn't me. No, actually this _is _me." I wave my finger between us. "What your sister knows..._that's_ not me."

"No, don't tell me! You have multiple personalities!"

I try not to smile. "Allow me to explain," I beg.

"Sure. Do you want to talk in the hotel's restaurant or...some coffee house?"

"You'd probably hate me if I say I wouldn't leave the room or this bed. I'm really tired, but I think a coffee house will do."

"We can stay here. I don't mind."

Half an hour later, we have fresh coffee from the closest coffee shop and are sitting on top of his bed. My back is propped against the headboard, and Jasper's at my feet, resting his back against a poster of the bed, coffee cup in his hands.

He nudges me with his knee, a playful smile on his face.

I'm still getting used to seeing him in sweats and a loose tee. For some reason, I can't stop thinking of how beautiful he looked in that dress.

"Tell me," Jasper prompts, sipping from his cup.

"Let me think. I'm not sure where to begin."

"The beginning?" He laughs.

"Where _is_ the beginning? I think it started way back in high school, maybe even earlier."

"I thought high school was the first real life experience everyone got."

"Not when you have such hypocrites as my parents. I don't even know why I keep calling them that." Shaking my head, I place my cup on the nightstand. "They were never there for me."

"Mine were mostly gone, too. I'm very grateful for Rose."

"But they loved you when they were home."

Jasper frowns, bringing his knees up and hugging them. "I never understood such parents as yours. Frankly, I thought they didn't exist."

He's too innocent. I give him a sad smile. "My father was a lawyer and my mother was a house-wife. She followed him everywhere, at every function he attended, every meeting out of the city. I was always left with a sitter. Never, not even once, did they take me along."

He looks really moved by my sad excuse of a childhood.

"Anyway, when high school hit, I realized I had to toughen up. I got into this gang and started skipping classes, smoking, and generally doing bad stuff. Until when I was like sixteen, I think, and James approached me." I swallow hard. "He was a senior and a role model. Everyone admired him for his good grades, and he was in every school activity available."

"Huh. Was he a worse influence?"

"You're joking?" I snort. "He opened my eyes. I was going down fast. The sad thing is that my parents had no idea of my deeds, and neither did they care. Anyway, James stopped me after classes one day and took me aside. He talked to me like...like no one had ever talked to me. His voice was warm and understanding. He explained patiently why I should drop the gang, and he promised to have my back if they turned against me. I thanked him and told him he was a saint. That was the way I perceived him." I shrug.

"I bet he was the only person to treat you nice."

"Exactly." I nod vigorously. "Anyway, you know what he answered?" Jasper shakes his head, looking amused. "He told me he was far from being a saint. He reached into his pocket and showed me a pack of cigarettes. 'I smoke like a train,' he told me. 'And I like pretty boys,' he added, touching my cheek."

"He hit on you?"

"Uh, yup." I grin. "And I'd always been attracted to boys...so it was okay. I mean, I didn't pull back. Actually, I stepped closer and kissed him. It was a knee-jerk moment, but when we separated, he laughed so hard. I was wounded, like I had been kicked in the gut. Thankfully, he explained his outburst." I smile at the memory. "He taught me a lot of things, but sadly we were together for only three months. I'm still indebted to him for talking sense into me back then. God knows what could have happened if I stayed in the gang." After a few gulps from my coffee, I continue, "In my junior year, I met Dave. He had transferred to our school, and was this sweet, geeky boy. I fell hard and fast."

"He wasn't gay?" he asks quietly.

"Oh, he was." I can't help but smile. "We had memorable times together. Then I decided to introduce him to my parents. Wrong move. It was a choice between being gay or having a roof above my head. I chose my shitty life instead of what my body craved. I was still young and stupid."

"But once you finished high school, surely…"

"No." I looked down at my lap, dejected. "They financed my college. And the first Christmas, my father told me to bring home a girlfriend, emphasis on girl. It was the first time he'd mentioned that, and also the first time he invited me to one of his fundraisers."

"Let me guess," Jasper mutters. "You did exactly what he asked of you."

I nod. I'm not proud of how chicken I used to be, still am. "I've always lived the life everyone expected of me. Luck was on my side the day after my phone call with my father. I bumped into the prettiest girl in the library. I fooled her that I was truly into her, and took her home a couple weeks later.

"Eventually, Bella caught on to my game. I confessed everything some months later, but she stayed. I spoiled her rotten, still do, and we're happy? She always accompanies me to these things. She's out of town now, thus why I attended the wedding alone. But she's never accepted my lifestyle—as in me whoring around, as she calls it."

"So you're not into chicks, like Rose said."

"I haven't been with a man in...five years," I admit. "It was a mistake when it happened. I was drunk and had a huge fight with Bella, which led me to the bar. It was dirty sex in the bar's bathroom. I don't even know his name. All I remember is that I was crawling to Bella's house in the early hours of the morning, begging for forgiveness and throwing up all over her bunny shaped slippers." I crack a small smile. "But my life consists of work, wetting my dick in every pussy available, and drinking until I forget my name. Not necessarily in that order. It's usually drinking before sex...you know, so I don't think about what I'm doing."

He's quiet, and I don't dare look his way. He probably hates me.

"It's my fault Sven's cheating on me," Jasper says after minutes of silence.

I gasp, not expecting that. _What kind of asshole would cheat on this perfect guy?_ "Why do you say that?"

"Because I brought Nicholas into our apartment in Vienna. His lease was up, and when I noticed him carrying his backpack everywhere, I cornered him. Once he confessed he didn't have a place to stay, I took him home. He'd been on the streets, so to speak, for a week. He had slept at friends for one night or two, but no one could keep him, and a few times when I had an early start of the day I found him in the library looking like he had slept in there. We have a couch. It's not very comfortable now that I tested it."

He's sleeping on the couch. "I don't know what to say."

"I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not. Your boyfriend is."

He gives me a sour look. "I love him, Edward. But I don't think that's enough. This love has been one-sided for too long."

I sit on my knees and shuffle closer to him. My arms go around him, and Jasper sags against my chest. All the tension leaves his body as loud sobs escape. I wonder for how long he's been strong. My hands rub over his back soothingly, and he cries harder.

His hands fist my shirt as his tears soak the fabric. "I'm a mess," he mumbles.

"Shh. I'm here." I pet his head. "Cry. It's good to cry."

"Oh, yeah? When's the last time you cried?"

"The last time was when I introduced Dave to my parents. I cried myself sick that night."

"And never after that?" He sounds surprised.

"Never," I confirm, pressing my lips to the top of his head impulsively.

He sniffs loudly, rubbing his cheek against my shirt. "I'm sorry. I'm not fun right now."

"Stop worrying. I appreciate you allowing me close after hearing my story."

"How could I not? I knew Rose was lying."

"She wasn't, per se. But thank you for accepting me for who I am."

Eventually, we move. I lie down with him still in my arms, my hand rubbing his back. Slowly, he calms down and breaths softly. I'm sure he's asleep, but when his head tilts and our eyes meet, I see all kinds of emotions passing through him. When Jasper slides closer and his nose bumps mine, I know I have to stop.

For the first time in my life, I don't want this. I know his reason will be foolish, and he'll regret it if we do anything.

Then his soft lips crash over mine. I allow the kiss to go for too long, but the second he throws his leg over mine, I push him away gently with a hand on his shoulder.

Rejection is clearly etched on his face. I cup his cheek. "Don't. You have no idea how much I want this, but no. You'll regret it, Jasper. You're still…invested in the relationship waiting for you back in Vienna."

His blue eyes have turned a shade darker. "You're right," he whispers, tucking his head under my chin. "You've given me a reason to break up, to free myself from that…from the chain he has me on."

"Maybe you can still work things out," I say, but I have no idea why I'm pushing him away.

"There's no hope, Edward. One day it was this silent agreement between the three of us. When I got home from classes or practice, they were usually in our room. I thought they were studying, but then I walked into the kitchen… they were in a very romantic hug, and it looked like they were about to kiss. I stormed out, and Sven rushed after me. I don't remember what he said, but he reminded me of all the things that made me fall for him. And I stayed. On the couch. I mean, I didn't even bother to go into what used to be our room—just to take my pillow. Next morning, it was just me and Nicholas in the flat. It was awkward as fuck, but we worked it out."

"You're too good to them, Jasper," I admit. "Far too good. They both deserve a kick in the ass for treating you like that. I have no idea how you can still live there."

He shrugs, lifting his head to look at me. "It's difficult, but it's the only place I know that I can call home. Sven's still nice to me, and Nicholas, too. But you know what's funny? When Nicholas isn't around…it's like nothing ever happened between us. Sven is his sweet old self; not that he isn't sweet all the time, but he treats me like he used to…years ago. And I fall for his every trick because I'm stupid and in love."

I stroke his hair, kissing him between the brows. "You need to make a decision. Either tell Nicholas to fuck off, but there's the chance Sven will find another Nicholas. Or, you fuck off. I'm all for the second one. Come back to the States."

The smile that had appeared on his face while I talked, falls. "I can't come back. My life is there. My job is there. How many guys my age can say they're working for Vienna's Opera House? No way. I'm not throwing that away."

"At least, ditch the douchebag."

"We'll see." He sighs in contentment and wraps his arms around me, snuggling closer. "Thank you."

There's no need for elaboration. I know why he's thanking me. I truly hope he'll take my advice. For his own good, if not for us ever having a chance. I can see the way he looks at me, but he's also still in love with that guy back home.

.

.

.

Four months later, I find myself landing in Vienna on a horrid snow. At least, the plane was allowed to land here.

The second I received Jasper's e-mail, telling me he needs me without any other elaboration, I packed in a hurry and was on the first plane. We've kept in contact over the past few months. and it's been great. I've all but given up on my ways, as in sleeping around. It shocked Emmett and Rosalie to see the new me once they were back from their honeymoon—which they loved, by the way. Bora Bora is nice this period of the year, apparently. I've been more invested in my job, and haven't lost a night in God knows how long.

Jasper had the courage to confront his boyfriend, and it blew up in his face. With a little luck, his best friend Heidi was also recently left roommate-less. He moved in with her and has never looked back.

He'd been sending me e-mails of how wonderful it was to live with her and how she 'got' him. Obviously, she got him. She's a girl and loves dresses and make-up. Also, she didn't care about his obsession with women's clothes.

Until one day when he explained that Heidi found a boyfriend. The guy was over often, and made it a point to show his disgust toward Jasper every given chance. Heidi tried to convince him Jasper was as normal as him, but he had none of that.

The last time we talked, Jasper told me what's-his-face cornered him in the kitchen and threatened him.

My bets are that between last week and two days ago, something happened. If that piece of shit hurt my boy, I'm going to make him regret he even looked wrongly at Jasper.

Once I'm through the airport's formalities, I dial his number.

"Yeah?" he answers with a grunt.

"Hey, sweets!" I say cheerfully. "Quick. I need your address. I'm at the post office to send you something," I lie through my teeth.

"You are? Uh, well…okay." He rattles off the address, and I scribble it on my palm like a school boy. It's the best alternative, since I don't have a notepad with me. "I thought we weren't doing the Christmas gifts thing," he adds softly.

"We're not. Are you at home?"

There's shuffling and a low grunt from him. "Yeah. Why?"

I shrug. "Just checking. I have to go now, send this thing off."

"Kay. Bye, Edward."

"Bye." I grin like crazy as we hang up.

I step into the first taxi I find, and after a few attempts at making him understand what I want, I show him my palm. He laughs and nods, then I show him my money. I've been in such a hurry, I didn't exchange my dollars to euros. He waves a hand dismissively. I bet he'll charge more, but whatever. I'm going to see my boy.

Over these past few months, and ever since he ditched Sven, Jasper and I have become close. Well, as close as we can with the ocean and a few countries in between us.

The driver's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. He's pointing out different buildings, and telling me about them in broken English. I nod, showing him I'm listening. I don't understand much, but I get the gist of it.

"Here ist you, sir." I try not to laugh at his half-English, half-German.

After scrambling through my brain for the right word, and praying I got the right language, I say, "Danke."

He beams like I told him he won a big prize. "Bitte."

He's lost me, but I nod again, and we sort through the money. Then I'm off toward the building he pointed out.

Fuck. There's a buzzer. I stare at my palm, but most of the writing is gone. Fuck, no. I need to get in.

While I frown at my palm trying to decipher the apartment's number, a girl approaches the front door and unlocks it from the inside. I quickly grab the door before it closes after her. She whirls around and starts spitting unknown words. I raise my arms to show her I mean no harm, and the metal door hits me in the shoulder. Ow.

_How the fuck do I say sorry in German?_ I'll have to try my luck with English.

"Uh, I hope you understand me. My friend lives here. I want to surprise him. Please, tell me you understand."

"You're Edward!" she says in a thick accent. A large smile lights her face.

"And you're Heidi." It's odd that we figured out who we are and haven't met ever before.

"He's up." She points to the stairs. "Second floor. 2B. Knock three times."

"Thanks. Uh, danke?" I try again with a smile.

She giggles. "I see why he's so smitten with you."

"You know English pretty well."

"I try." She smiles modestly. "I have to go. Uh, you should know…don't freak when you see him."

My eyes widen. "Is there something wrong? Is he okay?"

"Just go and see for yourself." She waves, then walks down the alley.

I step into the hallway, letting the heavy metal door close behind me. I take the stairs as I've been told, and stop in front of 2B. My heart takes off at the prospect of seeing Jasper after four months.

I knock three times.

"Heidi, was hast duvergessen?"***** an annoyed voice groans loudly. It's Jasper's voice.

I don't understand a thing, but I knock again.

"Warten Sie!"****** he shouts. There's a crash from the inside, and the door opens. Jasper's blue eyes widen and his mouth falls open.

I can't even be happy to see him. All I see are the bruises on his face—his beautiful face. "Jasper," I gasp, stumbling forward.

He hugs me tightly, bringing me inside the apartment and kicking the door shut. "Edward! You're here!"

"What happened to you, sweets?" I cup his face gently between my hands. "Did that piece of shit hurt you?"

His lower lip disappears between his teeth.

"Tell me," I urge, dropping my backpack.

"Yes," he murmurs, burrowing his face in my chest. "We were alone. Heidi was running late."

"Why? Why did he hurt you?"

Jasper sniffs. "I thought it would be just the two of us—Heidi and me. So I was dressed in something like a kimono. And when he came in, I knew something would happen. That look on his face, Ed… He pushed me against the wall and called me names, then told me to pack up and leave. I told him I lived here and wasn't going to leave because he wanted me to. Then he punched me and kept with the name-calling. These aren't all the bruises." He points to his face. "Thankfully, I passed out, then Heidi came home. I woke up in the hospital. She broke it off with him, and he's being held by the police. She also sent you that e-mail in my name, which shocked me when she told me."

I can't help but chuckle. "I should have known. There was no 'Hey, baby cheeks' or 'leafy eyes' or a signature. It wasn't you, of course. But it freaked me out."

"And you came here? All the way here?"

"I was around," I joke, kissing the top of his head. "Did you tell Rose?"

"Yes. Last night. We were on the phone, and I moved wrong…my leg flared up in pain, and I grunted. You know her, she didn't relent until I told her everything."

"She's not coming, too?"

"No, but she bought me a ticket back to visit her as soon as I'm okay."

"What else hurts?" I take a step back to look him up and down. For the first time since I arrived, I see he's wearing a tight red t-shirt and colorful sweats.

"If you want me naked, there are other ways."

I laugh and meet his eyes.

"Mostly my legs, and there's a nasty one here, on the small of my back." He points to the spot. "But let me grasp that you're here."

Taking his hand, I squeeze. "I'm here, and I'm not leaving. Ever."

"What do you mean?" His eyes are wide and hopeful.

I give him a sheepish smile. "Okay, maybe I'll go back, but only to resign and tie up all my loose ends."

"You'd move here?" He looks at me in disbelief. "Give up your whole life back in the States? For me?"

"Of course, sweets. I'd give up a lot more for you." I cup his cheeks in my hands and lean down, searching his eyes. He nods slowly. That's all I need. I kiss him.

It is a slow and tender kiss, the kind lovers share for the first time. I really want to tangle my fingers in his hair and bring him closer, deepening the kiss, but I resist the temptation. There will be time for more later.

Jasper is the first to pull back and sigh, staring into my eyes. Possessing green eyes, I know how quickly their color can change depending on the mood, but his blue ones are fascinating to watch. They're a deep azure as they stare intensely into mine.

"I've been waiting so long to kiss you again," he murmurs, leaning to kiss me again. It's still soft and tentative.

"I've been thinking of kissing you since we kissed in your hotel room," I admit. "You have no idea how much I missed you."

"Oh, but I do, if it's just as much as I missed you, Edward." There's a small smile playing on his lips. Suddenly, he turns serious, taking my hands in his. "Tell me, honestly. Are you willing to move to Vienna? I'm not finished with what I'm doing here. I love my job, and I know it makes me a hypocrite to admit it, but I won't move back just yet."

"You're not. You love what you're doing, and you're right. Not many young men can attest to working for Vienna Opera House. I'm moving here with you. We'll find a place together if that's what you want. I'm a financial analyst. I can do that anywhere in the world."

"What about the language?"

I bite my lip, unsure how to answer. "I think my professor will be patient with me," I answer, looking into his eyes.

He snorts, palming my cheek. "Not even I know it that well…after all these years. But I'll teach you. We have Heidi to help."

"Good. It's settled."

.

.

.

For the winter holidays, Jasper comes to the States. I'm wrapping up my life here, ready to move with him to Austria.

When my boss was presented my one-week notice (I am running out of time), he was upset to lose me, but wrote me a nice recommendation letter and gave me a name—Johann Günter. I couldn't believe my luck, so on my last day of work, I brought him a fine bottle of scotch, which I knew he loved.

Rosalie seems skeptical about my intention on moving in with Jasper, but the second she sees us together at their house for brunch, she changes her mind. We've been inseparable since my impromptu visit to Vienna. I stayed only for three days there, and returned home with my boy.

Jasper has stayed at my place, where we've explored our relationship and made plans for our life in Vienna.

It is something new for me to be around someone and not get naked within five minutes. All our touches have been innocent and reserved. He did go down on me the other night, and I wasn't allowed to reciprocate, but I will. Soon. I know the moment we have our own place, he won't escape my claws. I need him like the air, but we're going at his pace. He recently broke up from a bad relationship and needs time to heal. There was also the incident with Heidi's ex-boyfriend. It still makes me insanely angry to think of it.

On our last day in Los Angeles, I decide to call my parents and let them know I'm moving to Europe with no foreseeable chance of returning. I try to think that whatever they've done to me, they're still my parents and deserve to hear this from me, not through the grapevine.

Mom answers the phone, and when she hears my news, she invites me over. They live a one hour drive away from me, and I accept the invitation. Our plane doesn't leave until the following afternoon. Before hanging up, I tell her I'll bring over the person who stole my heart and prompted me to move away. I avoid being specific about a gender.

Jasper shoots positive thoughts my way all the drive to my parents' house, but my heart is beating a mile a minute, and there's a churning in my stomach. I feel sick.

When their house comes into my line of view, I push back the nauseous feeling. After parking in the driveway, I push the beanie off my head and tug at my hair, trying to make it stay nice. Mom's going to comment about it being too long, like always.

"Chill, man!" Jasper takes my hand, squeezing it. His gesture calms me minutely. "You're making me feel self-conscious."

"You're fine," I say dismissively, opening my door.

And he is—_fine_. He's wearing red, tight jeans that make his ass look awesome, knee high boots, a green shirt a little loose around his shoulder—which I love because I can see skin, and the words on his chest are perfect "Appearance can be deceiving"—and of course, his black coat. He looks great, unlike me. Since my phone call with Mom a couple hours ago, I've been freaking. I hadn't planned on visiting them, so I ran out of time by the time we had to leave. Thus I'm wearing sweatpants and boots, my tattered t-shirt, and a winter jacket.

We walk to the front door hand in hand. Before we reach it, I halt Jasper and turn him to face me. "Whatever happens, I want to apologize in advance. I told you how they are, but…I wanted to say goodbye, and I wanted them to meet you. Whether they like it or not, this is who I am."

His eyes are clear blue, standing out thanks to the thin black lines he's drawn around them. I'm happy he didn't fake who he is.

Before he can answer, the front door opens, and Mom appears in the doorway. It's been years since I last stepped foot in their house.

"Edward! Come in, honey."

I bite on my tongue to keep from commenting on her term of endearment. She lost that right long ago.

"It will be okay," Jasper whispers, squeezing my hand and prompting me to walk ahead.

My steps falter when I spot my father in the shadows of the hallway, hovering behind Mom.

"H-hel… Hi," I stutter like an idiot.

"It's been too long since I last saw you, hon." Mom catches me in a bear hug. I have to drop Jasper's hand to give her a proper embrace. She's always been led by my father. Deep down, I know she wouldn't have commented when I brought Dave home. She'd have tried to understand, but never acted like she did.

"Yeah, well… Work." It is a lame excuse, but it is true. And obviously, I've avoided the place religiously. The few times I met her were in L.A. at lunch—behind my father's back.

"The wayward son is back," a gruff voice comes from inside the house.

"For the last time," I tell him bitterly. "I thought it would be nice to visit you one last time."

"Where are you going? Never coming back? Is your job relocating?" Mom asks.

I glance at Jasper. He's nervous now, chewing on his bottom lip and wriggling his hands. I wrap my arm around his shoulders. "Shouldn't we go inside? Or am I not allowed in your house anymore?" I wonder, looking between my parents.

They seem to have finally noticed Jasper, and are staring at him as if he's some foreign animal.

Fine. Be it as it may. "Never mind. I only came by to introduce you to Jasper." I bring him closer to me. "And let you know I'm going to Vienna with him."

"Vienna? Europe?" Mom is close to hysterics.

"What's this craziness, son? You're not running away with some…some…" My father has stepped out of the house and is gesticulating wildly toward Jasper.

"This is my boyfriend you're trying to insult," I say firmly. "I didn't come here to get your blessing. I thought it would be nice to say goodbye to my parents—the only people in the world who should have cared for me, loved me unconditionally, and supported me in everything I did. Of course, it was never like that, but Mom must have cheated on you before she got pregnant. I'm too nice to be the result of you two…" I scowl. "Let's go!" I pull Jasper toward my car, but he stops me.

"Wait, Ed. I want to say something." He's already turned toward them, his chin held high. "I love Edward, and despite whatever you think about our relationship, I want you to know that he still loves you—for some unknown reason—and he suffered when he was little from being left alone. I never understood people having children and never loving or taking care of them." He sniffs loudly, and to my horror, I see tears in his eyes. "I had hoped you'd changed, but you're the same people who broke him years ago." Jasper takes my hand and leads me to the car.

I want to hear one of my parents calling back. I won't lie. I really want it. I even strain my hearing, but no. Nothing.

Holding back my own tears burning at the corners of my eyes, I slide into the car. Before backing out of the driveway, I look one more time at the house. I'm not even surprised they're no longer outside. They're inside, hiding, ashamed of their son.

"How did you know?" I whisper to Jasper. "That I still love them. That I've always loved them."

"You wouldn't have insisted to see them, otherwise, Edward. I'm sorry they're so dense. They don't deserve you. Let's go, please." He places his hand on my knee.

I lean over the console and kiss him soundly. "I…love you, Jasper. Thank you."

It's the first time I've admitted it out loud. He looks taken aback, but soon, a blinding smile spreads on his face. "Oh, I love you too!"

* * *

**A/N:** Find below the translations from German to English.

*What did you forget?

**Wait!

* * *

**If you liked it, let me know. :)**

**Re-reading it now, I realized it actually fit what with the Vienna's Orchestra New Year concert and all. hehehe**


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